Top 5 things I learned from my dad

In honor of Father's Day, here are the top 5 things I learned from my amazing dad. He and my mom continue to be the best examples I could ever ask for, and I still learn so much from them every time we're together.

1. God first, others second, self third. Moral of the story... selfishness gets you nowhere; selflessness gets you anywhere you want to go.

2. You can do anything you want in life as long as you work half the day. You choose which half; the first 12 hours or the second. Moral of the story... Work hard, play hard. You have to work hard in life and be disciplined. But when you are, reward yourself by making the time to do things you enjoy.

3. Don't complain about the problem if you're not willing to be part of the solution. Moral of the story... Sitting around complaining about a problem without working towards solving said problem is a monumental waste of your time. Take action toward change, or you have no right to complain.

4. Ask God to help you accept the things you cannot change, give you courage to change the things you can, and grant you the wisdom to know the difference. Moral of the story... This serenity prayer speaks for itself. It's something my dad taught me at a young age and something I've held on to ever since.

5. Eat life up with a big ol' spoon. Moral of the story... You don't know what this life is going to dish out. All you can do is make the best of every moment you're given.

Dad's play a fundamental and irreplaceable role in our lives. Some of us are blessed to still have our dad's around. Others celebrate their fathers that are now in heaven. And still others never knew their real father, but had a special person step in and fill that role during their lives. No matter your situation - real dad or adopted dad, grandfather or uncle, older brother or friend - tell your "dad" thank you today.

The "D" word

Today I had a good ol' fashioned schooling on the "d" word...
Discipline.

Illustration found on forthelovemagazine.net via Google images.

Nothing like a little Godly reprimand right? That's what I had this morning.
I'm currently studying the book of Proverbs, and am finding that every chapter holds serious gems of wisdom, whether I want to hear them at that particular moment or not. And of course, I'm human, so being reprimanded for something does not quite make my top 10 list, if you know what I mean.
But today, it was necessary. Ever have those moments? They're not enjoyable, exactly, but they are freeing. It's freeing to admit you were in the wrong about something, and it's freeing to receive a new sense of determination to make change in that area.
For me, that area is discipline. One of the definitions for discipline on dictionary.com is this;

to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control.

My life has been anything but that, lately. It amazes me how quickly things can get out of control. I've mentioned before that I should be nicknamed the "Queen of Procrastination," but all jokes aside, it's a terrible truth. 

Maybe you're like me. Maybe procrastination is your middle name and you go with the excuse, like I do, that I "work best under pressure." Ha, you know you've said that before, don't lie! And, although that is somewhat true for me, what happens when there is no pressure to do something? Like keeping my house clean, and staying on top of the laundry. There's no "deadline" for that. It's up to me to be self-disciplined and get it done. And, oh I don't know... how about, say, writing a book? I don't have a publisher yet (keyword: yet), so it's up to me to practice self discipline and work on that book. There's no deadline. It's up to me.

Discipline is so way easier said than done! I'm a volleyball coach, and discipline is essential to the success of my athletes and my team. It starts with external discipline. That's where I come in. As the coach, I create an atmosphere of discipline - a set of requirements the girls must meet or there are consequences. I do this in hopes that, after awhile, the girls will develop internal discipline. They won't need to be told certain things to do or not to do, they will be disciplined enough within themselves to do what needs to be done.

So here I sit... I'm past the external discipline. Now it's all up to me. I have to exercise internal discipline. 

Where are you at? Are you, like me, practicing procrastination instead of self-discipline? 

 

Nuggets of truth:

*Discipline means not doing everything I want to do.

Uh oh. Nobody likes to hear that. You mean I have to prioritize? You mean I have to learn how to say NO? You mean I can't do what I want, when I want to? Yep, I sure do. Questions to ask myself: Do I have time to do this? Does it benefit me? If I choose to do it, does it bring me closer to my goals?

*Discipline means living a balanced and controlled life.

I don't even know what those words mean most of the time. Balance and control? Who really has balance and control? Well, although I might not be able to have that 100% of the time, I can strive for it. In fact, for the sake of my sanity, I have to strive for it. Questions to ask myself: What feels "out of order" in my life? What steps can I take to keep things balanced? Am I inviting and accepting this lack of control?

 

I wrote down these little nuggets of truth after reading an article by Joyce Meyer in the Enjoying Everyday Life magazine. It's called "The Best Life Ever." Some other things she said...

*God designed us to be dreamers. 

*Ne need to train and cooperate with God for those dreams to be fulfilled.  

*To turn potential into completion we must make time, be determined, and work hard.

 

Do you have these obstacles, too? How do you practice discipline in your life?

 

Chew on this...

Image found via Google images search

"You can't become a leader and expect to stay a leader without developing the necessary skills and doing the hard work yourself." - Joyce Meyer

"Doing things with excellence means you don't take short cuts." - a very wise family friend, Kristine George

"Hard work always pays off; mere talk puts no bread on the table." - Proverbs 14:23, The Message 

The Granny in the Weight Room

She had to be in her late 60's, at least. Sweet, gentle, grandmotherly smile. Short, tidy, salt and pepper-colored hair. About 5'4, maybe, slender build.

Fragile. She looked fragile.

But she wasn't, apparently.

She bent down to lift the plates onto her weight bar in our workout class. Effortlessly, might I add. I looked at mine, and back at hers.

It took only a fraction of a second for it to register...

You have got to be friggin' kidding me! She had more weight on her bar than I did...

Image from fotosearch.com via Google images.

And so it began. My competitive nature kicked in faster than lightning striking a lone tree in an empty field. I mean come on, was I really going to let a granny out-do me in a weight lifting class? If you know me at all, you know there was no way on God's green earth that was going to happen.

So, show of hands... who has ever been outdone by the granny in the weight room? This could be a figurative granny, of course, but for me it was a literal granny.

I go to group workouts at the Amarillo Town Club and attempt to get my butt into gear with classes like Body Attack, Body Combat and Body Pump (yes, they are as hard as they sound). Last week I decided to double up on classes one day. What possessed me to do this I have no idea, but I went for it. First, 60 hardcore minutes of Body Attack. To give you an idea of how intense the cardio in this class is, if you exert 100% of your energy and go as hard as you can for the entire class, you can burn up to 1,000 calories, according to my class instructor. That's right, do the math; that's almost 17 calories per minute of class time. Now, following this class I committed myself to attending a sissies-beware weight lifting class, Body Pump. This one is 60 minutes of high-rep weight lifting. Thing is, you can set your own standards, deciding how much weight you want to lift throughout. You can go as light or as heavy as you need. So, since I had just nearly killed myself in a class the hour before, I figured I'd take it easy for this hour and get the reps in. (You'll come out of this class sore even if you do light weights). I noticed the older lady to my left after I loaded my weight bar for the warm up track.

'Nice and easy,' I had been thinking to myself. That thought vanished like mist on a hot, dry day. She was smiling, oblivious to my rude gawking. It took less than 2 seconds. Less than 2 seconds for me to quickly throw more weights on my bar before the class instructor cranked up the music... and before granny could notice that I had lighter weights than she did.

I matched her weight-for-weight during each track. Sometimes I put a little extra on, just to make a point to myself. After that class, I could barely walk. Once simple tasks like sitting on the toilet became catastrophic feats. Sneezing made my whole body quiver in pain.

If it weren't for that dang granny, I could walk without looking like I had been hit by a bus.

But if it weren't for that dang granny, I wouldn't have pushed myself as hard. I wouldn't have lifted those heavier weights... those heavier weights that, over time, will make me stronger. Much stronger.

That experience got me thinking about a question my friend, Denai Vaughn, recently posed on her Facebook page. "Collaboration or competition?" I have a naturally competitive personality. I want to win at everything, all the time. Basically, you won't beat me at anything. Ever. I can find competition in just about anything (I am the direct result of two highly competitive parents. I mean, 2+2=4, you know?). 

Now here's my question. What is your stance on competition? Was that granny a blessing to me, or a curse? Was it a positive thing to use that competitiveness to help push myself harder than I would have otherwise? How can that competitive nature help, and how can it hinder?

For me, a spirit of competition is essential. It's essential to our survival. It's essential to our success in the work place. It fuels drive, and determination, which breeds strength and endurance. We need that in everything we do, from our relationships (these days more than ever before we have to fight for our marriages to survive), to our work promotions. Strength. Endurance. Focus. Determination. These things can be learned from healthy competition. Of course, sports, in my opinion, are an excellent platform by which to gain these skills that will pour over into adulthood. Traits like commitment and passion are learned in an arena of competition.

There is always a place for collaboration, as my friend Denai strongly advocates. Collaboration is also essential. But for me, you can't have one without the other. Even when you are collaborating in the business world, you are still competing with other businesses in your field, yes? This makes your team strive to do more, be more, achieve more. When you are collaborating with teammates on the court, in the field, you are still competing against your opponents, correct? 

How do you implement a healthy sense of competition into your life, into your work? How about collaboration? Do you think it's true that, although different, the two can complement each other and work toward a common goal when used correctly? 

Competition and collaboration are as different as opposite sides of a coin... but they still represent the same coin.   

Thrive'n Jive'n!

Tuesday's Thrive With 5 event at the Sleep Inn & Suites, 6915 I-40 West, was fantastic! If you missed Breaking Down Business Barriers, here are some key points myself and the other two speakers, Denai Vaughn and Carol Henderson, talked about...

I discussed how to overcome "I Can't" - Information, Communication, Act, Notoriety, and Truth. It's so important to evaluate the information we are telling ourselves. Is it positive or negative? Do you have an attitude of "I can" or an attitude of "I can't"? The first step in overcoming ICS ("I Can't" Syndrome, pronounced 'icks') is to recognize what kind of things are going on inside your head!
Highlights:
"In order to move forward we have to have information about where we're headed. We have to know where we're headed to get there."
"We can know all there is to know, but if we don't take action, nothing will ever happen."
"In order to see the truth - to live in it, claim it - you have to recognize the lies you might be telling yourself out of fear."


Denai, The Networking Queen, spoke on BRAND - Branding Basics, Recognizable, Advocates, Networking your Brand, and Discernment.
What are the basics of branding? Denai advised to choose a brand and an accompanying logo that people can easily identify you with. Also, prepare to be married to your brand! What you choose, you should stick with! Recognize your brand advocates - the people who have your back and will help you protect your brand!
Hightlights from Denai:
"Find what you're passionate about in that industry, find the continuity. Ask yourself, do I want to be branded by the company I'm with or by my passions?"
"If you have advocates they will love what you do because of how you do it. Hurting people, hurt people. You're gonna have some haters, you have to let them go."
"If you're networking your brand, (people) will want to imitate you, but they can't duplicate you."


Carol Henderson, a longtime successful business owner, spoke about budgeting. She talked about MONEY - Mouth, Options, Networking, Excellence, and You.
Carol said it's important to listen to the words you say, because what you say is what you get! When budgeting, options are very important. Pay attention to where you're advertising. What audience are your reaching by advertising in that particular area? Also, the ever-true statement, it's not what you know, it's who know. Get connected! It all comes down to you, Carol says. It's your choice to pursue excellence in your business and your budgeting.
Highlights from Carol:
"Try to bring more to the table than what you promised. Over-deliver."
"Excellence isn't perfection, it's doing the best you can with what you have."


If you'd like to read more about what each of us discussed Tuesday, let me know! We will start working on our Breaking Down Business Barriers online magazine soon (available in print, too). In it we'll have a more in-depth overview of the seminar, and some excellent insight from our four expert panelists. 


What are some of your expert tips about how to break down those barriers inhibiting your success in business? What have you overcome in the past and how did you do it? Share your story here, or email me at mdcoach@live.com for a chance to be featured on my blog!

Thrive with 5

Please allow me a little room to promote, because I am way beyond excited about this conference!
Tuesday, May 17th I will be one of three featured speakers at the first seminar in the Thrive with 5 series, 'Breaking down business barriers,' and I cannot wait!
It is so important to continue pursuing excellence in your business, and in your life. (*ahem* I will also need a little room to preach in this blog post.) If you quit seeking the next best thing and new, potentially better ways of doing things, your business will become stagnant and out of date. You can't broaden your clientele if you don't broaden your reach, that's for sure.
At 'Breaking down business barriers' you will hear insight from professionals on what has worked for them, and what hasn't. You will be able to ask questions and leave with answers. 
I will be speaking about how to turn "Can't" into "Act" and overcoming a little something I call ICS (pronounced 'icks') or "I Can't" Syndrome. No one wants the ics, but it happens. How do you overcome it? "I can't" essentially translates into "I won't." I'll talk a bit about my own journey so far, and how taking chances and turning day dreams into actions led me to places I didn't think I could go. 
Also speaking will be The Networking Queen herself, Denai Vaughn. Denai is amazing and talented, and has tons of insight and good advice! Come ready to take some serious notes, you'll want to remember what this lady has to say.
Our other speaker will be Carol Henderson. I'm meeting with her tomorrow and can't wait to hear what great things she will have to share at 'Breaking down business barriers.'
If you're out of town but want to get plugged in, don't worry, this conference will be available virtually. Yes, I am super pumped about that. I love it when technology trumps circumstance. Ha!
Check out the Thrive with 5 Facebook page for more info. 
To register and for more info check out this website.
If you have questions about this seminar, comment away!
Do you ever attend events like these to learn more about broadening your options in your circumstance? 

Osama bin Laden is dead.

Citizens hang off a lamp post cheering in celebration as thousands of people celebrate in the streets at Ground Zero. Photo: Spencer Platt/Getty Images. Image from colorlines.com via Google images.

Osama bin Laden is dead.
My first emotion? Relief.
Yes, possibly unfounded relief as we obviously have to be prepared for potential retaliation for his death. But I felt relieved, none the less.
It immediately brought my mind back to the families of the victims of 9/11. The heartbreak, the pain, anger, sorrow. Whatever emotions they felt upon hearing the news of Osama bin Laden's death, among them was vindication, I'm sure. But I also have no doubt they felt sorrow. Sorrow because bin Laden's death, although just, can't bring their loved ones back. But hopefully it has brought some closure.
My second emotion was pride. Pride in the country I live in. Pride in the troops, the brave men and women who daily risk their lives, that represent us, that protect us. I have had family die for this cause. That's something I don't take lightly, and that pride swelled in me like an overblown balloon. 
My third emotion was confusion. But why, I wasn't quite sure. After a lot of thought, I've realized that the confusion stemmed from my warring emotions between wanting to jump up and down and chant, "U.S.A! U.S.A!" in the streets, and mourn the fact that a man had to be murdered because of his murderous acts. A just death, by all means. I don't think celebrating the death of an enemy is right, but I do think celebrating good triumphing over evil is. I believe that when righteousness wins out, when our country stands up under fire and says, 'We will fight, and not back down,' that is something to celebrate.
Regardless of personal feelings, Osama bin Laden's death was a victory for our great country. I do agree that to fill the streets in celebration of the death of a fanatic makes us fanatical. I do understand that the Lord instructs us not to gloat when our enemies fall, and I see how celebrating in the streets could be perceived as gloating. For many, it may well have been gloating.
But for me, for my urge to run into the streets shouting, "U.S.A! U.S.A!" was more about pride in my country.
I get why people wanted to wave our flag in the streets, hold it high. They're proud. They're proud of our troops, as we all should be... they're proud of this victory against a kind of terror thousands have experienced... they're proud to call themselves Americans.
As am I.
God bless the U.S.

What was your initial reaction to the news? Do you think it was wrong of people to celebrate in the streets?

Bloggin', blogger, bloggy



Image found on prospectresearch.com via Google

 Blogging is an ever changing area, and there's nothing black and white about it. The area in between, actually, is quite vast. There are very few set "rules" about blogging, so I want your opinion.
How do you decide what "type" of blog you're going to have?
I tend to favor the personal intermixed with the professional. I love going with the flow of the day, how I'm feeling, and writing what I want to write about. But do you think this is counterproductive for readers?
I've heard mixed opinions on the matter. Some people insist a topic-specific blog is essential to holding on to readership, others disagree. What is your opinion?

Just since I started this new blog, multiple people have said to me, "I really want to start a blog, but I'm not sure how, exactly." Well I don't have it all figured out (I know, you thought I totally knew what I was doing here. Fooled ya!), but here are three things I've learned about blogging in my endeavors so far.

  1.   Your blog needs to reflect who you are.

• Nobody wants to read some stuffy, boring, textbook style blog post. Make it fun! Make it a unique reading experience every time they open your page. Are you feeling angry about a new law that was passed that you disagree with? Show it! Happy about some new restaurant that opened in your town? Let's hear it! If you have a happy, fun, outgoing personality, we should be able to gather that from reading your posts. Same applies if you have more of a withdrawn, deep, poetic personality. Being able to relate to the blogger on some level keeps readers coming back, and keeps you, the blogger, real.

    2.   Find the relevance.

• Yes, you are going to post some things that maybe only those close to you will care about sometimes. But before posting ask yourself, "How is this relevant? Why does this matter? Why should people care?" Some readers might not realize it's relevant until they read your post. YOU convince them, by what you've written, that it's important. Sometimes the relevance can be found in simply bringing a smile to a readers face, making them laugh. Sometimes it's deeper, challenging their opinion on some heated topic. If you think it's important enough to write, people need to think it's important enough to read.

    3.   Make it interactive.

• Ever read a blog that's just 1,000 words? BOR-ing. For example, if you talk about some great new miracle product you tried that's working wonders on your hair, share a link where people can go buy it themselves. Or if you read some fantastic feature article on some couple that battled cancer together during their engagement, post the link! Hyperlinks are your friend. Help people get clicky. And how about some pictures? Or video? If you go on some grand vacation to Italy and blog about it, I'd like to see some pictures, please! Even a graphic, fun or serious, can be helpful and intriguing. And lastly, don't pretend like your readers aren't there. Ask them questions in your post. If they comment, respond to them. Now, you don't have to respond 100% of the time, but keep your eye out for commentary. Again, readers want to connect.

What it boils down to is this; you make your own rules in the blogging world. You decide what works for you and what doesn't. A little trial and error never hurt anyone. Kinda like my blog... it's anybody's guess what will work for me, and it's my job to find out!

Happy blogging!

Here's a link to some useful tips about blogging.